mind-heart-spirit – This connection has stimulating communication, emotional depth, and growth potential. But it doesn’t involve much touch or physicality. This is as deep as I go with my male friends. I have many connections of this nature in my life right now, with men and women alike, and I appreciate them very much. These people are good friends that care about me, resonate with my purpose, and encourage me to keep challenging myself. I’m open to more of these connections, but they show up pretty well on their own, so I don’t necessarily need to actively invite more of them. That said, I’m still moderately open to more connections of this type. They can be pretty rich and fulfilling.
Body Connections and Women
With my male friends, I’m happy to see plenty of mind-heart-spirit connections showing up. Those are great, and I very much want to continue to enjoy and appreciate the abundance there.
With women, however, there’s the potential to explore the body dimension of our connection as well, such as through touch, massage, cuddling, kissing, oral sex, intercourse, threesomes, etc. Since I’m not interested in connecting with men on this dimension, it means that if I want to experience more and richer body-dimension connections and to balance them with mind, heart, and spirit connections, I have to filter for this aspect more strongly in my connections with women. Otherwise the body aspect will be under-represented in my profily indiancupid life overall.
I’m not neuter, and I’m not bisexual
This implies that I can’t relate to men and women on equal footing. I’m 100% straight. And that means that in order to maintain a decent balance across dimensions, I must filter more heavily for women who are open to sharing at least some kind of physical connection.
This has been a difficult realization for me to accept. I suspect there’s an element of social conditioning that I need to unload here – the conditioning that tells me that I should relate to men and women equally when it comes to connection invitations, i.e. that when it comes to invitations to connect in the dimensions of mind, heart, and/or spirit, I must be gender neutral. However, I can’t do that if I’m to create a reasonable sense of balance here.
In fact, I need to do just the opposite. I need to over-represent the body aspect in my connections with women since that aspect will definitely be under-represented in my connections with men. This means that even if I get a nice offer from a woman to explore a mind-heart-spirit connection together, I’m going to need to decline those invitations much of the time. But if that same invitation comes from a man, I can be a lot more liberally in accepting. That’s because if I accept more mind-heart-spirit connections from women, I won’t have as much time to explore connections that include the body aspect. It’s a matter of opportunity cost.
I feel that this is a mistake I’ve made in the past. I would accept mind-heart-spirit connections with equal interest whether they came from men or women. It seems unfair, sexist, or otherwise dishonest to have one standard for men and another standard for women with respect to these types of connections. But now I realize that I can’t apply the same preferences to men and women alike. I can’t explore the body aspect with men in the ways I can with women. So I absolutely must skew my connection preferences with women to over-emphasize the body aspect.